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‘You could start with ‘hi James’ or something,’ She does look up now. ‘Hi. Did you know this?’ ‘No. That I’m aware, they haven’t changed the menu since Mel’s dad took over when we were in middle school. But Mel has been talking about how his prof for small business econ says that ‘staying current is currency’ every day in class. So maybe he talked his dad into updating the menu.’ At that exact moment, Mel’s dad Dan stepped up. ‘That is exactly what happened. We’re a little busy tonight so I’m waiting tables. Water for you guys?’ Dan had waited for us a few times, and as we were Mel’s friends, he pretty much knew what we tended to order. ‘Yeah,’ Katie and I both answered at the same time, but I continued, ‘I haven’t looked at the new menu yet because Katie’s hogging it-‘ ‘Oh shut up, you could have grabbed another one.’ ‘True, but it’s a lot more fun to blame you,’ I turned to Mel’s dad and continued, ‘What’s new and tasty, Dan?’ He always insisted that we call him Dan instead of Mr.. .. if you are sexually active, Charley." Aw, Mom..." my face went crimson again and I tried to lead away from the subject. "Auntie Mame is always saying that you need to get laid!" I taunted. "What does she mean by that?" Charley! Such talk for a son! She didn't say that..." Now her face was crimson."Well, what does she mean by that?" Oh, Auntie Mame is my big sister. You know! She thinks I'm cranky sometimes and I would be happier if I had sex more often." Is she right?" Oh, I don't know, it's kind of silly really. Just one of her old wives' tales. She means well. Besides, for me it has to be for love or at least someone I really like a lot. These days, she says, everyone is sleeping around with just anyone. Not for me." And Auntie Mame?" She's really pretty much the same, but she talks a good game of wildness, Charley." She laughed and splashed water in my face. "Besides, you aren't supposed to ask these questions about your old Mom! And, Mame means well. She loves both of us." I.
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