’ She slipped her heels off and put her feet up on the couch. ‘Ok, now I want you to close your eyes and breath deeply, very deeply…that’s it.’ Susan did as she was told, her chest sinking and rising ever slower as she deepened her breathing. By now my dick was hard as a rock. Here was a hot sexy woman here in my office waiting to be hypnotized and who was willing to do whatever I told her. This was too good to be true. I had to have her, to use her body to pleasure myself. Who would ever know? I mean, she’d be hypnotized and I’d tell her what to do, and before waking her up I’d give her the suggestion to forget everything that happened during the session. It would be like nothing ever happened. I then proceeded. ‘You are very relaxed, so relaxed that your body weighs a ton, and you cannot move. Now when I count to three you will be in complete and utter relaxation and peace. One, two, three. You are now completely relaxed.’ She was now under regression and would be under my total. Since I?ve been on HRT that anger has beenreduced dramatically. Even now in my anger I try to admonish instead oflashing out either physically or verbally.The result of my fear and anger was me being a lonely boy. My parentssaw that and thought after consulting with others that seeing apsychiatrist might help. I couldn?t tell this grown up anything so in asense I wasted their money. Now I could tell those shrinks how I feel,but as a kid I couldn?t. I was still afraid.Part of my fear was that I was the only one who thought that way. In asense that is true. According to statistics in the Netherlands aboutone child in eleven thousand births is a male to female transsexual andone child in twelve thousand is a female to male transsexual.There are other things that bother me. I cannot now or ever give birth.When she was pregnant my now ex-wife told me about how the baby wasmoving in her. Her description of what she was feeling inside herincluded a smile on her face that told me of the joy.
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