I was desolate, he was guilty. We were both unhappy, and I was getting further, and further from being the live, happy girl I knew once. I wrote bad poetry, I ate rice pudding out of plastic containers, and I built a wall against my feelings. I slowly began to smile again, and could feel myself turning the bend between heartache, and heart healing. I was over the halfway point at getting over Shawn. And then, on returning to my dormitory from class, I saw the note slipped under my door, honestly I nearly tripped over it. Even as I lifted the neatly folded note I could smell the cologne Shawn always used, and felt the burn of tears start in my eyes. I tore it open with no reverence, none was due. Only my avid curiosity kept me from chucking the letter away. I knew it would be a plea for friendship, and I was going to sacrifice my sanity so Shawn could sleep at night knowing I had forgiven him. Ruthlessly I made my eyes focus and read the correspondence: “I love you my Esme, and even. " Will he keep his word?" Beall's wife asked, inching down to get nearer the warmed, wool covered bricks at the foot of their big bed."I think so. Hope so. Remind me to get down to M'Gregor's tomorrow. That's where I should have gone today. Have you seen that big nigra woman around that's a midwife, belongs up near Seneca Creek somewheres. You know the one?" Oh yes, they call her Big Mama. One of the Kraus girls, married that Johnson boy, she's about due, and I've heard that slave woman was tending her." I might want to talk to her, thanks." Beall turned over, surprised his wife had not asked why he wanted to see a midwife. A picture of the drowned man's belly and groin swam before his eyes until he chased it away with the memory of orange flames flickering behind the doors of a small, iron stove.By Wednesday with most of his local road supervision caught up, Alexander Beall felt the need to visit Annie and headed for the courthouse. He rode around to the shed in back, tied his horse.
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