He watched one particularly long tow made up of a bright white and red twin stack tug pushing 4 extra-long gravel barges toward the ocean and followed it until it disappeared over 4 miles away. In front of the restaurant the tug’s exhaust were two separate streams being sent into the air but as the tug moved closer to the ocean the stacks came closer and closer into alignment until the exhausts finally merged into a single continuous cloud. He watched the stream turn starboard and disappear behind the lighthouse 5 miles away. To make it easier to see, the lighthouse tower was painted with alternating bands of black and white. Each band was 10 feet wide, there were six bands, and today he could see the top four bands and one half of the fifth. He hadn’t been to the lighthouse in years and thought he would stop by and see it before he headed back to Raymond.At the lighthouse he walked around the grounds remembering adolescent and early teen days playing and exploring. The door off the. I was hurt that she said there was no hope for me, for us. I was consoled that she actually thought, briefly that she could change because of me. I was consoled that she considered me to be her best lover. I sat, staring at her letter, a mixture of hope and despair. Could my hope surpass my despair as the dominant emotion? If so, what could I do? She has said that I would be wasting my time looking for her because she has gone. I don’t know where to start because I don’t even know her last name. I don’t know the name of the person who owns the apartment, or his friend who allowed her to use it. Think dammit! You have a brain, use it. My first decision is, do I want to find her? Do I take the chance of finding something more than lust with her, or do I risk the disappointment in not being able to keep up with her lifestyle? On my third cup of breakfast I had reached a decision. I would find her! I sent an Email to my boss informing that I was availing myself of 4 weeks of accrued.
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