CHAPTER 5 - THE DECISIONOver the following months Sue and Michael/Amanda became increasinglyclose, finally selling their respective flats and moving in together.Michael was increasingly spending time as Amanda and becoming ever morecomfortable with his female persona. He had made the effort to loseweight and was now close to Sue in size. The feeling of calm when he puton a dress and slipped into a pair of heels was still as strong as everand, now that his hair had grown long, he no longer needed to wear a wig.In fact, he was starting to find that his previous misgivings aboutliving full time were evaporating and time spent as Michael was now atbest irrelevant and at worst deeply dissatisfying.Sue sensed this and one Sunday morning, about a year after their firstdate together, asked, "So should I still think of you as Michael or is itjust Amanda from now on?"Michael thought for a moment and replied, "All my life, I've beenfighting this but, after spending the last year with you, I no. Women should not want sex. Ideally they should just close their eyes, think of England, and submit to their husband's baser urges. Of course with no-one to teach these poor husbands, they were rather inept lovers, so it wasn't difficult to suppress any good feelings. Oh, sure, some people do seem to still like sex, ('Look, just like honeymooners... ') and it's Ok to giggle about it, but you wouldn't ever give in to any baser urges...And then there are those very few of us who, for some reason or another, have rejected that paternalistic religious power trip.In my case, it happened on a trip to Jamaica, on my honeymoon. Luckily, towards the end of the honeymoon, after my husband had broken my hymen, then squirted inside me, then collapsed asleep beside me. He did this once every night for the first week, then every second night for the second week, always in the same position, dripping sweat onto me while I was thinking;"Damn, I was kind of hoping sex would be at least as much fun as.
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