I wished someone were there with me. I was alone here. I knew that much but not much else. I tried calling out and thought I could hear my own voice, it seemed too small, like the sound waves were bleeding off rather than carrying my voice like they should.I had the thought that I should enjoy it and take the chance to get some sleep. It was dark and I was comfortable. It seemed like the best thing to do. I was tired. A lot had happened. I was so tired. It was so hard to go on and it was so comfortable here. I could just stay here. It was nice. There was nothing to bother me. No worries, no cares, no pain.That last disturbed me. Why would I think about pain? Suddenly, sleeping didn’t seem like as good an idea. I felt like laying down would be bad. I couldn’t say why, but I knew that something bad would happen if I did.That’s when I started to listen. I needed to get back. ‘Get back where?’ I asked myself. They were waiting for me. ‘Who?’ I needed to leave here. I couldn’t see, but. He was seated at thekitchen table with a mixing bowl filled with milk and cheerios. He lookedso handsome in his baseball uniform. Despite my worries I was genuinelyhappy for him. He finished up and kissed me goodbye as Coach waitedoutside the front door in the bus with his hand tapping gently on thehorn. His last words to me: "Don't worry Joan, Dr. Feingold is going to bethere. I'll see you at the game sweetheart. Wish me luck!" With that, hewas on his way. I felt so alone. It went deeper than that, but the wordssimply don't exist to explain my feelings. I left the house before AuntAlice showed her face. Back across the street yet again, I headed up tothe shower. I was going to make myself as pretty as I knew how.I must have spent an hour doing my hair and makeup. I was going to needanother trip to the Hairport. At length, I did manage to get it all undercontrol. My yellow sundress complemented my tanned body perfectly. Mywedgies added a certain air of sophistication. My dark.
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