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The times that you'd want to spend time just the two of us. The random hugs, the occasional "I love you" when we were home alone. I realize now, you never said it in front of anyone else, it was always something between you and I. I missed so many of the little signs you had given me that I wouldn't be rejected. But, sadly, it's too late to change any of that. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many things differently. I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the pain I caused. It's my burden, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The words are just words, i can say "I'm sorry" a billion times a day, and it wouldn't make any difference. No amount of "I'm sorry" can bring you back, or take away the pain that I've caused. The only "I'm sorry" that really matters, is the one deep inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down.. I could see him now as I stood there panties still in my hand and my skirt up and over my stomach I was showing everything from my waist down and not aware of it.'Sorry love', he whispered apologetically, 'I saw you in the bar and I thought you looked like you wanted some company, so I followed you here'.I swallowed hard and eased my skirt back down over my hips and stomach, suddenly I felt like a loser he seemed to lose interest in me the minute I faced him. His was in his fifties.'I just need to pee', I stammered back at him.'and what a beautiful sight it was too love', he replied and as I thought about the whoosh I made as I peed I laughed a little my fear subsiding as I warmed to him.'This your truck', I asked him? He said it was and I asked him if he could take me into town in a jocular way, but he apologized, 'They don't allow us to go into town, besides I have been drinking'.Then he said something expectantly, 'You can kip here', he said pointing to his cabin, 'the bed is big.
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