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My mother made her last suicide attempt which failed. At the time I was mad about that fact. I did get to spend that summer living with my best friend though. I had a step father for two whole weeks, that was interesting. I thought for a minute I would be able to relax, but nope. Still, Some of the best memories of my life are from then and 38 years later I still have my best friend. Putting some of it down on electronic paper left me in a good mood the entire next day which is rare for me.Part of that is learned behavior when you just accept life sucks and prepare for the worst then you can be pleasantly surprised. Which I’ve found beats the hell out of having hope and then getting it crushed out of you time after time. The other part comes from being in chronic pain. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain. I’d kinda like to show you off if you’d be up for it,” I said. “Of course,” she said. “I’d be delighted. Formal or informal?” “Very informal,” I said. “Pick you up at high noon?” “Sounds good,” she said. “I’d love to meet your family.” Oh boy, this was the woman for me, no freakin’ doubt about it. I had to have her. Nothing else in the world mattered and iota: Stacey was the one. **** I was proud of myself. I’d actually found a woman who I could not only be proud of, because she was such a looker and such a fun person, but also because she was going to be supremely popular with the family. My much older brother, ten years older, especially, would be thrilled I’d finally found someone to latch onto. He’d been bugging me about finding the right woman for forever, hypocrite and womanizer though he was and had long been. Oh, he’d, had my brother, had a winner in Madelaine, his now ex-wife. But, he’d soured that in almost no time cheating on her with damn near every pussy in sight. She’d.
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