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I sat on the bed and looked at her. This was the girl I had loved, lusted after, laughed with, argued with and felt up at every opportunity. And she was beautiful in a skinny-topped way that struck me as French, like some out-of-touch Parisian ingénue or a peasant girl who never saw the light of day.If I had told her what I planned to do to her she would have freaked out, so I held out my hand and drew her down next to me. I spread her out like a blanket, her legs slightly apart, and kissed her lips, then her neck, her breasts and her stomach. I put my hand between her legs and slid the usual finger into her, then withdrew it and played with her clitoris with my thumb.“Mmmm,” she whispered. “That’s nice.”With my head at her waist, I could already smell the salty, meaty aroma of her young vagina. I continued heading south and licked the silky insides of her thighs before pushing her knees apart and placing my face in her crotch.”What are you doing?” she said doubtfully and I knew. I recognize it now. It’s him. It’s the same intermittent cadence, the same pauses and shuffles. He never did that to me. I should be the one on the other side of that door. A reflexive twitch of lustful anticipation turns to resentment and anger and other feelings for which I cannot remember the names. I need to leave. – That must be my train that’s pulling away. How long have I been standing here? There will be another train in 15 minutes. When you miss a train, another comes, not so with people. I can feel in my gut the hard truth that there is more between me and Kosei now than a door. I should have anticipated that he would be seeing someone. He is a handsome man. He is also light-hearted, relaxed, casual. I need that. I need him back. His bed was the only place where I ever felt I could rest-the only place I can still get to anyway. I will be able to take him back from her, whoever she is, but it will require some preparation. I must first discover my adversary. Nothing can be.
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