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I climb over the railing my arms stretched out behind me and my hands white knuckled holding on the railing, all I have to do is let go and free fall. Trying to talk oneself into jumping isn’t easy, especially with tears running down my checks and a sobbing type hiccup stuck deep in my chest. The world stopped, I don’t know how long I stood there looking down on the trees and meadow below, I think my thoughts ran along the line of what a peaceful place to die. I can hear cars in the distance going to and fro, I even hear a car door slam, although I’m not paying attention. ‘GODDAMN YOU!’ I hear a scream, I almost let go of the railing out of surprise of the brake in silence. Lydia is at the bottom of the tower looking up at me, she still looked like a ruffled little angry kitten, even from up here. ‘Come down here right now!’ She screams. ‘At lest I still have my clothes on.’ I yell down at her trying to make a joke of the situation, I can tell by the way she looks it was wasted. ‘I. He does that all the time. Then they just went on talking. From that day on I did this when ever I had the chance. I found out where mom kept her old stockings, To this day I don’t know why a woman wold keep old torn or laddered stockings, I got really into it now and would take a stocking and rub it on my dick, a truly fantastic feeling not as good as rubbing it on mothers foot but all the same it felt good. I would put one in my pants while home with mom. She told me it was ok when we were alone but not in public or when the family was home, I was so happy. About a week later someone in the family died out of town. Mom sent my sisters to my aunt and I went up stairs to Ella’s house, this lady loved me she was like a mother to me. We had fun playing and watching tv, she and all the ladies at that time would ware full fashion stockings I loved to touch them. I was siting at ella”s feet rubbing them and laying on the floor resting my face on them. I decided to taste them so I stuck.
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