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You know, for ignorant xenophobes who want to reap the benefits of other cultures' traditional practices and beliefs while also denigrating them as Satanic barbarism. Cool, right? Yeah, my family rocks, I know...Rick stares at me bleary-eyed and silent. Even half-asleep and hungover, Rick is the epitome of masculine power. Dark hair, blue eyes, 250 lbs of solid muscle packed onto a 6'4" frame. It's a real shame that the poor guy is dumb as a rock. That's actually why he's still here, living with Mom and Dad. He's two years older than me and was the town's great football superstar. Everybody swore he was going to be the next Drew Brees (I have no idea who that is... famous athlete or something) but after getting recruited to play ball up at UT, he couldn't keep a qualifying GPA. Since failing out, he's been taking some classes at the local community college, but from what I understand, that's not going great. Dad made him get a job at Pizza Pete's because, and I quote, "No son of mine. ” Fearing a bloodbath that would decimate both countries, the Union Capital moved to Philadelphia and a peace treaty was signed. Spanish was a breeze. Intro to Psych might have been a problem but Sylvia tutored me and critiqued my papers. I felt confident of a B and hopeful of an A. The math classes were not a challenge, fortunately. Queuing Theory was not just easy but stupid as well. One always posits Poisson arrivals as the first step. Great in theory, but it never really happens. Intro to Human Sexuality was the big question mark. In fact, that was the entire exam, a single big question mark. I wrote on what I had learned about myself and those close to me, and hoped I was not going to fail. I wound up with all As. The last day of finals was Jay’s birthday. He wanted the same thing that Charlene had wanted. Sylvia sucked his dick, then I did as well. Valerie went next, and then Charlene. I told Seth to do only what he was comfortable with. He said not a single word, but took Jay’s.
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