You know who Alfred Packer was.SPF 90 is not out of the question.People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.Having a Senator named 'Nighthorse' doesn't seem strange.A full moon has never kept you awake.You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.You get depressed after one day of cloudy weather.You think that formal wear is ironed denim.North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right; and east and west are where all those morons keep moving in from.You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a. When they got together at our house I would sit inthe hall outside Amanda's door and listen to them talk about makeup,clothes, shoes and gossip about who was dating who and all the thingsteenage girls talk about. To me it was like eavesdropping on a real soapopera and I was totally immersed in the subjects they discussed. Onenight Amanda's friend Suzy came out of the room unexpectedly and saw mesitting and listening."Well girls, it looks like we have a little snoop out here! I thinklittle Allie wants to join our group!" She giggled when she said it.Before I could think of something to say, Amanda came out and grabbed meby the arm and pulled me into her room."Allie, why are you spying on us? (I was named after my grandfatherAlexis....everyone has always called me Allie for short). You know mothertold you to leave us alone...why don't you go watch TV!" Amanda was notangry....more frustrated to have a boy in the middle of their commune."I'm sorry Amanda.....I was just curious," I.
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