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The only difference was that, unlike the other ceremonies, this one had binding, legal weight.“Then, by the power vested in me by the Republican Front, by the Provisional Government of the United States, and by the State of West Virginia, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” Jane told Jamie, who grabbed Amy and kissed her with abandon, making out with his naked bride in front of all of their guests, witnesses, and both the bridal and groom’s parties.Yes, reader, you heard that correctly. Amy was completely nude, as was Jamie. They were not the only ones who attended this wedding in the state of nature, either. There was the best man, Tom Kendall, who just also happened to be the groom’s boyfriend, of course. He was dressed like a Chippendale, with nothing on but a bow tie. There was the matron of honor, Debbie Kendall, who was among the bride’s lovers and happened to be married to the best man. She wore only crotchless panties, stockings, and garters. There. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely”. On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?” “He said you’re going to die” she replied.Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people’s lives?” Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.I bumped into my ex in town earlier. I said “How’s your new bloke?” “He’s twice the man you are” she sneered “what about your new woman?” I said “Thankfully she’s half the woman you are... ?”Our eyes met across the candlelit table. She looked so beautiful. I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned.
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